I remember the day we three Graham's arrived at Beechholme as if it was yesterday. I was nine years old and we were to live in Drake cottage; however as it was being repainted, the Drake children and staff spent a few months in Elm cottage before moving across the road into the newly painted Drake.

We had already been in care for about five years, firstly in small nursery type homes and then a few months at Earlsfield House. While in Earlsfield House children used to say 'if you didn't behave they sent you to Beechholme'. I didn't even know what Beechholme was but the prospect of going there was very frightening in my nine year old mind. It didn't matter how good we tried to be we were eventually to end up there.

We arrived that day with our mother and a welfare officer. It was a very cold, dreary afternoon in November 1961, I recall feeling quite frightened and overwhelmed. We met Miss Eva Knights, our housemother who told us a bit about the home and some of the children who lived there. She was very nice and made us feel welcome. A boy, Hugh was setting the tables for the evening meal and I couldn't believe how many place settings there were.

My sister Caroline and I started school at Beechholme's primary school, with our younger brother Michael going to the Nursery school across the road. I then went onto Cheam Secondary School. After leaving school I worked in London, travelling by train from Beechholme each day.

Diana (standing), Michael, and Caroline Graham

During my time in Beechholme I felt that I was lucky to have been in Drake as Eva Knights took a real interest in 'her children', she certainly gave us good guidance and really cared for us. She was very supportive, instilled in us a sense of right but to also be able to stand up for ourselves. She was always looking for ways to give us additional opportunities; one that comes to mind was when she decided that elocution lessons would be a good idea. This didn't last long though as we didn't really want to participate, found it boring, mucked about and thought it a waste of time - an opportunity missed! Staff came and went but Eva was always there, she worked in childcare from 1951 until she retired sometime in the mid to late 70's.  

As I've said our housemother was good to us, which was not always the case with some of the other staff that came and went. While many were compassionate and demonstrated a love for their chosen career, it would be remiss of me if I did not say that there were a number of staff whose treatment towards children was, at times inappropriate and harsh. As a result of this mix of people some children had a relatively easy journey through the home, while for others life could be extremely difficult.

Most of the children in Drake were quite close and we had our way of supporting each other. I remember lots of fun times - Christmas Day, New Years Eve, and Guy Fawkes Night. We had two weeks holiday each summer and Eva always organised different, interesting places for us to visit. We had plenty of parties and outings and could take part in lots of activities if we wanted to. We actually had far more in this regard than a lot my school-mates from secondary school.

It wasn't until I was at secondary school though that I realised how very different I was from my classmates. It makes me feel quite sad today when I think about going through those four high school years without ever explaining to any of my classmates of where I lived, or my circumstances. My teachers, of course, knew but it was never spoken about. One of the boys from Drake, Fred, was also in my class all through secondary school. However we never acknowledged each other while at school, except to maybe give one another a quick glance of support if one or the other was in any trouble in class. One of the great embarrassments to us was that we had to obtain receipts for all money paid at school for lunches, books, excursions and the like. We always tried to do this with the least fuss possible for fear our classmates would notice and ask questions.

Further education was never encouraged and I left school at the end of 4th year and went to work, first at ICI in London and then at various other administrative positions in the Croydon area.

In early 1969 I was selected to be part of an experiment to prepare us for living outside Beechholme. Oak cottage was set up with bed-sit type accommodation and I moved into one of these. I remember three other girls of similar age were sharing the house with me. It didn't really work out very well as Oak's kitchen was also used to prepare the school dinners for the primary school children and the cook complained so much about how we left 'her kitchen' that eventually it was locked each day before we returned home from work. This meant we had to return to our original house for meals and baths (as we couldn't get in to put coke or wood in the boiler for hot water). For me, that meant walking three quarters of the length of the avenue. It seems absurd today that at age sixteen I was being groomed to go out on my own, without any support but that's how it was for all of us.

In November that same year I left Beechholme and shared bed-sit accommodation with another Beechholme girl for a couple of years, during this time we were good mates and a good support for each other as we learnt how to get by.

In December 1972, I left England for Melbourne, Australia. The decision to go was easy really as apart from my brother and sister there was not much to keep me in England. I was living on my own by then, working two jobs to keep my 'head above water' and life was quite a struggle. In Australia, I settled into work and life here, I married and have three wonderful children, two girls, Tracey and Amanda and a boy, Christopher. I later divorced but then remarried in 1986.

Diana Graham pictured in Sydney, Australia

My sister Caroline followed me to Australia in 1973. Caroline now lives on the Gold Coast in Queensland, while I still live in Victoria (Geelong) with my husband. We are very close sisters and although we are a two hour flight away from each other we manage to see one another a few times each year and also spend many hours in phone conversations.

Sadly, Michael died in February 2008 at 52, after many years of poor health. His life was tragic really. I consider him to have been one of the many innocent victims of the system that he was forced to grow up in. Life was always very difficult for him; he didn't fit well to the children's home environment and as a result was often treated very harshly. You had to be emotionally strong to survive or else you became a target, not only from staff, but also, sometimes from other children. Michael had a multitude of problems as a result of his childhood most of which remained with him for all of his life.

I've been back to England a few times, firstly in 1993 (over 20 years after I left). In 2009 my sister was with me and we decided to visit the area that was a huge part of our childhood. We caught the train to Banstead and spent some hours wandering the lane that led from the railway station to the children's home, the avenue that was once lined with Beechholme's cottages and administrative buildings, Nork, Fir Tree Road, Drift Bridge and Banstead Village. It felt very strange as while the whole area was so very different, there were still quite a few recognisable signs of the past.

From my perspective, while I would not wish the difficulties of my early years for any child, I feel my Beechholme experience was overall reasonably positive. I was lucky to be placed where I was within the home. It shaped who I am, and it gave me a determination to provide for my own children a happy, safe and secure home life.

I did pick up on a comment from the website that says "The regime was tough, but not altogether unlike that of paying residential schools of the time''. My response to this is that the regime in paying residential schools may have been tough; however presumably the children who attended those schools did so to receive a quality education. At term end they would return to their homes, and hopefully loving parents. By comparison, the children who lived at Beechholme were resident full time and often for most of their childhood years. There were no loving parents; the education offered was basic at best, without the opportunity for further learning past form 4 or 5. For long term residents their reprieve from this system was usually when you were informed that it was time for you to get a job, a place to live and leave.

I would like to close with a funny story about an outing to Chessington Zoo. Eva allowed a group of us to go, unaccompanied, by bus to Chessington Zoo. She gave me the money for the bus fares and entry fees for the girls while the money for the boys was given to one of them. In the late part of the afternoon we were chased out of the zoo by the zoo staff for playing inside one of the animal enclosures. Although the zoo staff had no hope of catching us, during the chase the money for the girls return bus fare fell from my pocket. We decided that we would all get on the bus anyway, however when the conductor realised we girls did not have any money he told us to get off at the next stop. It was by now dusk and the five of us girls had to walk all the way home to Beechholme.

I can't remember what time we got home, only that it had been dark for some hours. Eva had been beside herself with worry when the boys arrived home without us. She was so relieved to see us, she never told us off. That was not the case for the boys though, once she understood the story she was very cross with them, and gave them a lecture that they should have shared the bus fare money to get us all as close to home as possible and then all walk the rest of the way together.

Caroline and I remained in touch with Eva Knights and last saw her in April 2009. She passed away in December of that year. We felt so sad when we heard that Eva, who dedicated years and years of her life to so many children, died alone in her home in London.

Finally, hello to anyone reading this who remembers Caroline, Michael or me.

Diana Graham

Yvonne trained as a painter and earlier this year (2009) held an exhibition of her work at Morden Hall Park.

Yvonne is a big character in more ways than one and would be delighted to see you, so if you are in the area, pop in and ask for her and tell her you saw her pictures on the BHRG website. Everyone knows her!

June now lives in Canada but visited the UK in July 2009 and met up with her old mate Yvonne a mere forty seven years after the photo on the left was taken! Here they are in 2009 - hardly changed at all.